


Conversations with Teen Top

by Indigofingers



Category: Teen Top (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Conversations, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, Jokes, L.Joe is my bias, Lols, Random & Short, Randomness, Sexy, Teasing, There's A Tag For That, basically it's just really silly conversations, but at conversations instead, imagine you're the original character, like text messages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7682941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indigofingers/pseuds/Indigofingers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Talking with the boys of Teen Top about sexiness, not being in love, short jokes, lots of teasing, and other random stuff. If you like text message/chatroom fics, this is pretty similar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations with Teen Top

**Author's Note:**

> So, on AFF, each conversation gets a different chapter, but they're pretty short, so I just labeled them and put them together and you enjoy them all at once! This is inspired by a fic called Teen Top Text Messages, but all the ideas are my own. It's...just pure crack, really.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy! (it's my own fic and I still laugh at its cheesiness.)
> 
> L - L.Joe, N - Niel, C - Chunji, J - Changjo (his real name's Jonghyun), M - C.A.P (Minsoo), R - Ricky

**The Sexy Beginning**

"Hey, L.Joe."

L - What?

"You know how you hate that you're short?"

L - I don't see how I could ever forget it, since you guys remind me all the time and mirrors exist.

"Well, I was just thinking and I've thought this before, too."

L - That I should wear high heels?

"What? Ugh, no! I hate that!"

L - So you were just thinking about the fact that I'm short? And apparently you've spent some time on it?

"Yes, but not just like, 'oh, L.Joe is so short, haha,' I meant to tell you earlier, but someone was always talking."

L - Well, it's just us in here.

"Okay. So, I don't want you to grow taller."

L - That's  it?

"I mean, I like the fact that you're short. It doesn't detract from your sexiness in any way."

L - ...did you just call me sexy?

"Technically, I guess, yeah, but we're talking about your height."

L - Right. Why are we talking about my least favorite subject?

"'Cause it's one of my favorite things about you. Literally, this was my first impression of you: good-looking and short."

L - A good thing and a bad thing.

"No! I like you being short! You're the perfect hugging size! And I feel more normal next to you. Plus, it fits your sneaky and charming personality. You were always my favorite."

L - Because I'm short?

"It's not the main reason, but it's a contributing factor."

N - Really? You like him 'cause he's short!?

"Shut up, Niel, yes. He also happens to be sweet and funny and sexy and happy-good-looking and mischievous and weird and awesome, so there."

N - ...

L - Um, thanks.

"You're welcome. Ending point: don't get taller. You wanna get something to eat?"

L - Sure. Are you coming, Niel?

"Niel?"

N - ...I'm not sexy?

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Teen Top in 3 words. The endless competition."

L - This wasn't even a competition. It was just you telling me I'm short and sexy.

"You guys turn everything into a competition."

L - True. Niel-ah, you coming to get food?

N - ...um, okay.

"What?"

N - I'm sexy too, right?

**The Limping Problem**

J - Hey, you're limping today.

"I always knew you were the observant type, Changjo-yah."

J - WHY are you limping?

"Somebody kicked me in the knee."

J - Why?

"Either he was stupid or his teacher didn't teach him the rules. We weren't doing sweeps, and even if we were, he didn't do it right. He basically  jammed the side of his food against the side of my knee."

J - Oh right, you said you were doing a tournament. But it's not taekwondo, right?

"Right. Karate. I haven't had the time for it lately; I miss it."

J - Does it hurt?

"What? Oh, my knee. Yeah, a bit."

R - Why does your knee hurt, Noona?

J - An idiot kicked her in the knee.

"Ricky, I'm fine. Don't go fighting anybody."

R - But Changjo can, right?

"No, Changjo cannot."

J - I don't even know who did it. Besides, noona probably got him back. Did you?

"If you count winning the match, sure. I didn't hurt him. The goal is to get points, not dole out bruises. Those just happen naturally."

R - Do you usually get a lot of bruises from tournaments?

"Usually, yeah. Are you worrying about me? I always have bruises and aches from dancing anyway, what's a few more?"

R - But, I don't like it when you're hurt.

"That's sweet of you, but then you'll be sad all the time. I'm a dancer -"

R&J - Something always hurts.

"Do me a favor? Don't mention this to the others and I'll try not to limp.

R - CAP hyung will notice.

"Well, then just try not to let Chunji notice."

R - Oh, right. What if we tell Niel hyung and L. Joe hyung, and they can help us distract Chunji hyung when you go anywhere?

J - I don't see this working out.

R - You're not helping, Changjo-yah!

"Okay, never mind. You can just help me shut him up when he inevitably finds out."

C - Is it L. Joe we get to shut up?

J - No, hyung, it's you.

"You're all useless."

C - Hey, why are you limping?

\--

J - Hey, you're limping today.

"I always knew you were the observant type, Changjo-yah."

J - WHY are you limping?

"Somebody kicked me in the knee."

J - Why?

"Either he was stupid or his teacher didn't teach him the rules. We weren't doing sweeps, and even if we were, he didn't do it right. He basically  jammed the side of his food against the side of my knee."

J - Oh right, you said you were doing a tournament. But it's not taekwondo, right?

"Right. Karate. I haven't had the time for it lately; I miss it."

J - Does it hurt?

"What? Oh, my knee. Yeah, a bit."

R - Why does your knee hurt, Noona?

J - An idiot kicked her in the knee.

"Ricky, I'm fine. Don't go fighting anybody."

R - But Changjo can, right?

"No, Changjo cannot."

J - I don't even know who did it. Besides, noona probably got him back. Did you?

"If you count winning the match, sure. I didn't hurt him. The goal is to get points, not dole out bruises. Those just happen naturally."

R - Do you usually get a lot of bruises from tournaments?

"Usually, yeah. Are you worrying about me? I always have bruises and aches from dancing anyway, what's a few more?"

R - But, I don't like it when you're hurt.

"That's sweet of you, but then you'll be sad all the time. I'm a dancer -"

R&J - Something always hurts.

"Do me a favor? Don't mention this to the others and I'll try not to limp.

R - CAP hyung will notice.

"Well, then just try not to let Chunji notice."

R - Oh, right. What if we tell Niel hyung and L. Joe hyung, and they can help us distract Chunji hyung when you go anywhere?

J - I don't see this working out.

R - You're not helping, Changjo-yah!

"Okay, never mind. You can just help me shut him up when he inevitably finds out."

C - Is it L. Joe we get to shut up?

J - No, hyung, it's you.

"You're all useless."

C - Hey, why are you limping?

 

**The Bad Boy**

R - Hey, do you think L.Joe looks like a bad boy?

"I think he looks like a bad boy. Sort of."

R - How can you sort of look like a bad boy? Wouldn't that just make you a regular boy, sometimes good and sometimes bad?

C - Oh great, here we go again.

"He looks like someone who went to bad boy school, but flunked out 'cause he wasn't actually bad, so then he had to go to regular school, but everybody thought he was a bad boy, 'cause he went to bad boy school, even though he was just a regular nice type of boy."

R - Is that 'cause he's sometimes cute?

"Well, last time I checked, bad boy and cute don't exactly go together."

R - I guess not. But sometimes he's really mischievous.

"That's totally different. I'm mischievous too, but would you call me a bad girl?"

R - What? No! Never!

"Okay, well then, L.Joe is not a bad boy, but that's not to say he never needs to be kicked or hit over the head with stuffed animals."

R - That never does anything. He just laughs or comes after me.

N - That's 'cause you're scared of him, Ricky.

R - I can't help it, hyung! He's a small, scary person!

"Yeah…maybe not include the 'small' part."

R - Well, he is…but you'll protect me, right?

J - You're gonna let a girl protect you?

R - It's better than getting hit.

N - Or you could just not call him small, shorty.

R - Hey!

C - Can I join the conversation?

J - You know you can just join, hyung.

C - I didn't know if I would get hit over the head with a stuffed animal or not.

R - We don't have any, but I can use my shoe- yah! I was just kidding, hyung!

"Careful, you'll end up taking the bad boy image away from L.Joe."

C - Don't be ridiculous, I am forever the visual.

"Yeah, that's readily apparent every time you go on Weekly Idol."

C - See? She understands.

R - I think she meant--

J - You're also not afraid to be violent.

R - Changjo! Get your own sentences!

J - Okay…

"Then again, with Changjo around, maybe Ricky will be the bad boy."

N - You already said that cute and bad boy don't mix.

"I'm currently rethinking that assessment."

R - I'm not a bad boy. I'm just cool.

C - Ricky, you're the cute one.

"And you're the handsome one?"

C - Obviously.

N - What does that make me?

"You can be the voice, Niel. Changjo is the maknae, so he's whatever he feels like at the time."

R - Why does he get to be anything?

"That's what maknaes do. They switch around in different roles until they find one that suits them the best."

R - He's good at dancing.

"Okay, he can be the dancer."

R - I can-

"Ricky! Will you calm down? You don't have to just be one thing, just like L.Joe is cute and a bad boy and a dork and handsome! Be whatever you want! Just know you'll always have a side of cute."

R - You really like L.Joe.

"That's what you got from that?"

R - I can be whatever I want?

"Are you asking me?"

R - But I'll always be cute.

"Ryowook is still cute, and everybody loves him, and his career is pretty good, right? So calm down, you're still a baby. You have plenty of time to grow into whatever."

R - I'm a baby?

"Ugh! I give up! I mean you're still really young! Changjo is a baby too! Aish!"

……..

"Sorry. And all this came from whether or not L.Joe is a bad boy."

L - Well, I'm more of a bad boy than any of them.

"Where did you come from?"

L - Short and sexy people are just cool like that.

R - Um, I'm leaning towards bad boy.

J - I second that. Congratulations, hyung.

N - Why did you have to tell him that?

C - Do you see that face?

N - No, I meant, why did noona have to tell him he's short and sexy.

WHAT?

M - What's what?

R - L.Joe hyung is a bad boy.

C - Ricky is forever cute.

N - I'm not handsome or sexy, I'm just the voice.

"Niel!"

N - Why is it always L.Joe?

J - Maknaes are the best.

C - I'm the handsome one.

N - Just 'cause he's your favorite--

"Aish, Niel, you know I love you too, of course you're sexy, will you let that go already?"

…

…

…

…

…

M - So am I sexy too?

**The Normalcy Question**

C - How come you keep calling Niel sexy?

"What, are you jealous now? You're sexy too."

C - I know. But I meant, you usually call L.Joe sexy.

"That's why. And they fight so much already, so I'm trying to even things out."

C - So you don't really mean it?

"Chunji-yah! You know I don't lie!"

C - I do?

"I don't."

C - I never, you, wait...

"I don't lie."

C - Ever?

"I have in the past, but then that just always caused me so many problems, so I decided to just be honest about everything."

C - So if I asked you something really personal, you'd answer honestly?

"Yes. Or I might not answer. But I won't lie. Even if the truth is ugly, I'd rather you hear it from me than someone else."

C - Is L.Joe your favorite?

"Yes."

C - Why?

N - Because he's short and sexy.

"Niel! You always come in at the wrong time."

N - Sorry. Actually, I'm curious about this too.

"Fine, stay, I don't care."

C: "So...?"

"L.Joe...is a lot like me. And I understand him. He does things in certain situations that don't always make sense, but it's just his way of showing how he feels. He says it like he understands it. He is sensitive and emotional, but doesn't let it make him into something he's not. He's himself, always."

C - Are the rest of us not like that?

"Compared to L.Joe, you're all pretty normal."

N - Well, we always said he was weird.

"But the best kind of weird. My kind. I just feel extra connected to him."

N - And you like that he's short and think he's sexy.

*sigh* "Yes."

C - What about me?

"What about you? You want me to start calling you sexy all the time, too?"

"..."

N - Actually, you can stop calling me sexy all the time. Ricky and Chanjo keep teasing me.

"So kick them?"

N - I thought you wanted us to kick less!

"I gave up a long time ago."

C - How about handsome?

N - Yah, hyung, you already think you're handsome!

C - It's still nice to hear!

"Aish, I should just not compliment anyone ever. They get greedy."

N - I said you could stop calling me sexy!

"And I'm leaving now."

N - Where are you going?

"I'm gonna go find Ricky and Changjo and see how many times I can call them cute before one of them blows up."

C - Can I help?

"Sure, but Chunji, if you start actually insulting, I'll help them kick you.

N - Me too?

"Whatever."

N - Yes!

C - Hey!

"Niel, you know I meant teasing, not kicking!"

N - You didn't specify.

"Never mind, I'll just go find L.Joe and normalcy."

N - You said he was weird.

"Yeah, but we're both weird, so it kinda cancels out."

Half an hour later…

C - So, the weirdness cancels out, huh?

M - Please tell me you weren't trying to throw each other again.

R - They were probably having a dance off.

J - No, they were making up strange scenarios and acting them out.

"Hey, I've got a good one! Niel and L.Joe go to greet some fans.  L.Joe says, 'hi, I'm L.Joe and I'm unbelievably sexy. This is my compatriot Niel. He's not sexy at all, so if you don't want to faint, look at him.' So all the fans look at Niel...and faint. And L.Joe says, 'hmm, this doesn't usually happen.' Kekekekeke..."

L - Thanks a lot.

"Shut up, you're always sexy, let Niel have some."

L - Mm. Move your head over.

"Not my fault you're so tiny."

L - Mm.

M - If I didn't know better, I'd say they were drunk.

N - I think they're drunk on their own laughter. We should let them sleep it off.

R - But not together!

J - They fall asleep piled on top of each other all the time.

R - Wait, they're not in love, are they?

N - Jihyun-ah, are you in love with L.Joe?

"..."

N - She never lies- ow!

"Go away, you're noisy."

R - But are you-

M - Let's just go.

**The Passive Concept**

N - So, I was wondering…

"Niel, if you so much as mention the word sexy-"

R - She read your mind, hyung!

"Seriously though, I don't want to have another conversation about whether or not you're sexy."

N - …that's not all I think about.

"You just had that 'love me too' look on your face."

N - But I know you love me too.

"Okay then. What were you wondering about?"

N - L.Joe's not around-

"Hyung."

N - L.Joe-hyung is not around.

"And?"

N - Let's set up a situation.

"For when he comes back? What, to make him uncomfortable?"

N - Yeah. He'll believe you.

"You mean like a hidden camera? Ugh, I hate this kind of thing. I'm so bad at it."

R - Noona, you're a great actress!

"Thanks, Ricky-ah, I know, but I mean, faking anger or something…I don't like it."

N - Well, you don't have to be angry. We'll do the angry. You can just ignore him or make noncommittal remarks.

"You've been using that dictionary app again, haven't you?"

N - There are some really great words that nobody uses! Except you. You're always using words that I don't know, so I had to get that app.

"I know more good words in English."

N - Oh! You could say ambiguous things in English, like under your breath, so he'll be confused.

"Confused as to why we're ignoring him and being mad at him in two different languages?"

N - Yeah.

"Niel, you are so strange."

N - You said L.Joe…hyung, was the strange one.

"But I'm the same kind of strange, so we understand each other really well. You're a different kind of strange, so I understand you less well."

N - You usually understand me pretty well.

R - You're really good at knowing how people feel. You always know when I'm secretly upset.

"Yeah, okay. But aren't we getting off topic? I don't want to do this."

N - Just be ambiguous!

"Fine, whatever. But you can't be really mean. Just normal."

N - What's the fun in that?

"He'll be tired from his schedule, so he'll get angry more easily. I really don't think this is a good idea."

R - Maybe we should be really nice to him instead.

N - Hey, that's good! That'll be way more confusing!

"Especially since you're never really that nice to him."

N - We treat each other the same way. It's our understanding.

"Yeah, he doesn't get you, you don't get him, so you'll just argue and tease and annoy each other. Not my definition of an understanding."

N - We understand that we don't understand each other.

"You could. It's not that hard. It doesn't take that much of an effort to say something nice one in a while."

N - It's not like we hate each other. We get along okay.

"…"

N - What?

"Never mind, it's not really my place to get in between you, even though that happens all the time anyway."

N - Yeah, sorry. I shouldn't make you take sides. Especially when I know you'll just take his.

R - Niel-hyung! That's not fair! Noona has stood up for you lots of times. She's always asking L.Joe-hyung to be more like a good hyung to you and not be so defensive!

"…"

R - Oh, sorry, noona. I shouldn't have said anything.

"Don't feel bad, Ricky. You only said the truth, and I appreciate that you stand up for me, too."

R - Okay. I'm going to go now.

"Niel-ah…"

N - You're right.

*smiles*

N - Don't be smug.

"I'm not! I'm just proud that you said that. I know you're good at just taking things in when people are watching."

N - We're both good at that.

"And the thing is, I know it's not really fake. You're both capable of accepting and not fighting back."

N - Arguing just comes out naturally.

"I get that. I'm really stubborn too. I used to argue all the time when I was younger, especially during my high school years. I was a very different person then. All my bad sides were showing. I had to learn that it feels good to step back sometimes. I already know I'm right. Whether or not the other person believes it won't change that. I got into a lot of senseless fights."

N - This has turned into a very personal conversation. I'm glad Ricky left.

"Thank you for talking to me and not pushing me away."

N - Thank you for talking to me and not giving up.

"Niel-ah, you know I love you, right?"

*smiles*

**The 'Girl' Rejection**

N - If Chunjoe was real, who would be the girl?

J - Hyung, have you been on those sites again?

N - No, I was looking at fan memes.

"Of Chunjoe?"

N - Not specifically…

"See any Nap memes?"

N - Don't even get me started on those. It's ridiculous and creepy.

"But Chunjoe isn't."

N - Chunjoe makes more sense than me and Cap-hyung.

"If Nap makes no sense, Chunjoe only makes about .1% more sense."

N - It's still more sense.

"Okay, whatever. What was the question? If one of them was a girl, who would it be?"

N - No, in the relationship. Who would be the girl?

"Oh. Chunji."

C - Hey!

"It's true."

C - I'm taller!

"So?"

C - I am not the girl!

"Sure. Okay then, L.Joe, you're the girl."

L - …does that mean he has to buy me stuff?

"I guess, since he's the guy."

L - Sweet. Hey, oppa, buy me food.

C - *head in hands*

*sneaky grins and high-fiving*

C - "Nobody is the girl because Chunjoe isn't real, so can we just forget about it?

"Whatever. We could always talk about Changrick instead."

J - I'm the guy.

R - Just because you're taller--

J- I'm the guy, hyung.

*raised eyebrows and dropped jaws*

R - Okay.

N - Hey, why are you giving in to him?

R - I, he, I don't know.

N - You would be the girl.

R - Heh, yeah. Um, I'm going to leave now.

*awkward silence*

M - Why does Ricky look like a kicked puppy?

*more awkward silence*

N - He always looks like a kicked puppy.

"Only because he looks like a puppy and you kick him, Niel."

M - Do I even want to know?

N - Probably not. Let's pretend this conversation never happened.

L - Maybe you shouldn't have brought it up in the first place.

N - Yeah, well. Maybe Chunji-hyung should go after Ricky.

C - Why me?

N - 'Cause you're both the girl--ah! Okay, okay, I take it back!

M - What am I going to do with these kids?

"You could turn them all into kicked puppies. I mean, they're pretty resilient. They'll jump back up in no time."

M - That doesn't sound very mature.

"It's not. I just wanted you to refuse the suggestion. I'm proud."

M - I don't really understand, but thanks, I guess.

N - Hyung! Protect me!

M - Aish, these kids.

 **The Relationship Hypothesis**  
R: "Noona?"

"Yes, Ricky?"

R: "Are you in love with L.Joe-hyung?"

"…am I…what?"

R: "I just, nobody else is here, and I've been wondering…"

"No, I'm not in love with L.Joe."

N: "Why not?"

"Aish, Niel, where do you come from all the time?"

N: "The moon?"

R: "Sorry, I thought we were alone."

"It's not your fault, Ricky, stop looking so upset."

N: "But are you sure you're not in love with L.Joe?"

"I'm sure. Yes, I like him a great deal, but I won't let myself fall in love with him."

R: "You mean you could be in love with him, like, it's possible?"

"Of course it's possible. But I won't."

N: "Why not?"

"Well, because I couldn't have, could I? Not really. I don't think it's selfish to want more than a little piece of someone if you're going to be in that type of relationship. And I'd definitely want a lot of him. I'd give as much as I could, and considering that I already give a lot of myself in friendship relationships, a romantic relationship would be me giving all of myself. Isn't that what it takes to make it work? But L.Joe couldn't give all of himself to me, because he couldn't belong to me. He belongs to you, and to the company, and especially to the fans."

R: "Wow, you've really thought about this."

"Unfortunately, yes. I try not to, but it keeps sneaking up on me."

N: "Wait, so, part of you wants to fall in love with L.Joe."

"I'm a girl and he's attractive, of course the thought has crossed my mind…more than once."

R: "So you've had a crush on him before?"

"Ugh, yes! Do we have to keep talking about this?"

N: "So, he must fill a lot of your requirements."

R: "He's cute."

N: "Short and sexy."

R: "Your laugh sounds the same and you make the same expressions when people make fun of you."

N: "And you're both tiny, which according to you is good for hugging."

R: "You both have a sneaky and mischievous side."

N: "And you're not adverse to kicking or hitting when people need to be kicked or hit, or even when they don't."

R: "He's really sensitive, but you're sensitive too, so you always know what to say, or what not to say."

N: "He has a temper, but since you're really calm, you can calm him down."

R: "You're both really sassy. And sarcastic."

N: "You both tease me and then randomly say good things about me."

R: "You fall asleep on top of each other."

N: "Yeah, what's up with that? You sure have a pretty close relationship for people who aren't romantically involved. I'm jealous."

"Envious."

N: "What?"

"You're envious. Not jealous. Look it up."

R: "Um, hyung? She's got that scary face on."

N: "You think we went a little overboard?"

R: "Maybe just a little."

N: "She's not saying anything."

R: "That's not a good sign. Let's just leave, really quietly."

N: "Good idea."

\--

C: "So I heard you're in love with L.Joe?"

L: "What?"

"Niel!""

C: "Okay, don't blame Niel, he actually said that you said you weren't in love with L.Joe, but it all sounded very suspicious and so naturally I assumed that you were actually in love with him."

"He did, did he?"

C: "Ricky assured me that you weren't too, but then he went on to say some more suspicious things, so it only reinforced the idea in my head."

"He did, did he?"

C: "So come one, when did it sink in?"

"That you're a meddling fool just begging to be kicked in the shin?"

C: "Come on, tell!"

"Why are you acting like a girlfriend? There's nothing to tell!"

L: "Um…so…"

"No, I'm not in love with you."

L: "Yeah, I know, but how did this even come up?"

"Ricky asked me first, which I didn't expect. Then Niel appeared out of nowhere, because that's what Niel does, and wasn't convinced, and then I gave my reasons, which, looking back on it now, were really only one reason and I guess that's why they ran with it."

C: "What was your reason?"

"First off, in case Ricky and Niel confuse you later, I made the mistake of saying 'I won't let myself fall in love with him,' which obviously sounds like I want to but I'm holding myself back, and I shouldn't have said that. Anyway, the reason was - is - that he couldn't belong to me."

C: "Wait, you won't let yourself fall in love because he's too busy?"

"If you really want to simplify it like that, sure. But that's not the only reason! I'm not ready to be in love with anybody, even L.Joe."

L: "I love that you're talking about this like I'm not even here."

"Do you want to leave now and hear a disjointed explanation from people later?"

L: "I guess not."

"Then Niel said that there must be some part of me that want to fall in love, and I was stupid again - and I'm tell you this because I don't want you to hear it from Niel - and I said…'I'm a girl, he's attractive, of course the thought has crossed my mind.' Please don't look at me like that, you can't possibly NOT know that you're attractive. And don't freak out, because that was way back in the beginning."

C: "So you haven't thought about it recently?"

"Thought about falling in love with L.Joe? No."

C: "What about him being attractive?"

"I don't really think about it. I mean, I know he's attractive, I know you're all attractive, but I kinda feel used to it, so it's just random moments when it sneaks up on me and I go, 'ah' inside and it freaks me out a little. Then I remember that I'm a girl and such things are just part of life, and I move on."

C: "What that the end of the conversation?"

"No, then they went on the list things that were similar about it, and I kinda blanked out after that, so they got scared and ran away. L.Joe, are you okay?"

L: "I don't know what to think right now."

C: "Think that there's still a chance for you-- hey, hey, okay! Don't hit me!"

"Does it really matter? At this point Changjo will have joined in on the fun and they'll all tease you about me being in love with you and try and get you to go out with me, and then we'll actually go out just to shock them, and then we'll laugh at them, and then everything will go back to normal."

L: "You wanna go out with me?"

"Sure. I don't know what it'll do to me emotionally, but what it'll do to those trouble makers will definitely be worth it. But let's wait and see if they actually cause trouble first, yeah?"

L: "Uh…okay."

C: "Hold up, I'm confused now. Are you two in love or not? Am I missing something?"

"Haven't you always been missing your brain?"

C: "Yah!"

 

 **The Sleep Assumption**  
M: "Don't do that."

R: "But we've never seen her asleep before."

C: "We can't simply let this opportunity pass by."

N: "She's watched us when we were asleep before. What's the difference?"

L: "She told me she always sleeps with one hand curled under her chin. Look!"

C: "She's so cute."

N: "Normal people would hear that and think you've got a crush on her, but you just sound like a weird uncle."

C: "I do not! Don't you think she's cute?"

N: "Well, of course she's cute! She's ours!"

L: "She's what?"

N: "I mean, she's our noona. Of course she's cute."

C: "Cap-hyung is older. I'm older too."

L: "You're not even a month older, you're 24 days older."

R: "You know her birthday?"

L: "She told us the other day!"

R: "I don't remember that."

L: "You and Niel were on your phones."

R: "Oh."

C: "Whatever, that makes her 29 days older than you."

L: "I know."

J: "What are you all doing?"

C: "Staring at our cute noona."

J: "You know that sounds creepy right? She'll hit you later."

C: "She won't know. She's asleep."

J: "Um…"

N: "Ooh, her hands are soft."

L: "Niel…"

N: "I'm not creepy!"

C: "Sure you're not."

R: "You said she was cute first, hyung."

C: "So?"

R: "So aren't you creepy too?"

J: "I think you should stop talking about creepily watching your noona while creepily watching her."

N: "We're not--"

J: "I tried it once."

L: "Creepily watching her sleep?"

J: "No, just observing her in passing."

C: "In passing."

J: "Yep. Her arm was hanging off the couch, so I moved it, and that's how I got that bruise on my forearm."

C: "Wait, what?"

J: "Hyung, didn't you tell them?"

M: "I thought it would be a good life lesson for them."

L: "You thought what would be a good life lesson?"

M: "Talking about and watching Jihyun-ah like she's asleep."

R: "Wait, hyung, what are you saying?"

J: "She's not asleep."

C: "What?"

N: "Nobody has that good of a poker face. Her breathing is even and she hasn't twitched once!"

J: "Wow, you were really observing her, Niel-hyung."

L: "Stop talking."

C: *whispers* "What do we do?"

M: "She can still hear you. My advice would be to run away."

R: *whispers* "Have you watched her not sleep too?"

M: "I didn't mean to. But she hit me anyway."

N: *whispers* "Why is she like that if she's not asleep?"

J: "She's tired. She works just as hard as we do, you know, but without any fans cheering her on."

L: "Stop. Talking."

C: "…Bye."

R: "Bye."

N: "Bye."

J: *mutters* "Idiots."

"They are, but you still have to speak respectfully, Jonghyun."

M: "How do you do that so well?"

"There's not really a quiet place or time for me to rest, so I've learning to block outside sounds. I still hear everything that's going on, but I'm sort of spaced out. It's annoying when people disturb me for no reason. So I developed the habit of reflexively hitting whenever they do that. Sorry, Jonghyun-ah."

J: "It's okay. L.Joe-hyung, you're still here."

L: "I feel like I should've known you weren't sleeping."

"It's okay. I'll let you all off just this once."

J: "Why do they get let off?"

"Nobody's within striking distance and I'm too lazy to move."

L: "Uh, thanks."

M: "Sometimes I think about how weird you all are."

"And then you realize it's an inexhaustible subject and move on before your brain explodes?"

M: "Pretty much."

J: "I'm not that weird."

"Oh, Jonghyun."

 

 **The Murdery Suggestion**  
"Changjo, what did you do?"

J: "Cut myself."

"I can see that, pabo. How?"

J: "One of the boxes had a nail sticking out a bit."

M: "Hands really bleed a lot, huh? Keep pressure on it, Changjo-yah. They're getting the first aid kit."

"I've got it. Give me your hand."

L: "You're not a medical person."

"It's just a cut. I've had plenty of them. Even ones caused by nails."

C: "Are you sure? It looks kind of serious."

"No, it looks like it's bleeding a lot, which it kind of is, but I can help make it stop, so give me your hand. Good boy."

M: "You're not fazed."

"Why would I be fazed? Thank you, I got it."

J: "Ow!"

"Don't squirm, I know it stings."

M: "I mean, you didn't even flinch when you saw the blood."

"Maybe I've seen too much of it by now."

C: "What do you mean, seen too much?"

"Just, I had plenty of scrapes growing up. Middle school was the worst, I think. I got into a lot of fights. You don't even want to know. Jonghyun, stop twitching!"

J: "I'm not doing it on purpose!"

"Alright, alright. Almost done."

L: "You're pretty good at this."

"Been taking care of my brothers for years. Been taking care of my non-actually-brothers for years, too."

N: "And in between they take care of you?"

"Uh huh. At this point it's just second nature."

R: "Isn't it already second nature? You're a girl."

"Chunji, don't hit him. It is a girl thing to care for people. I'm not offended. Done."

J: "Nice job."

"Try and hold it above your heart. It'll reduce swelling and you won't feel that throbbing pain so much."

L: "I like this side of you."

"This side? What, you don't love my sarcasm?"

L: "I just like seeing this side of you. It's nice."

"Thanks, L.Joe."

N: "Ooh, hyung!"

"Niel, don't."

N: "Aw come on, he walked right into it!"

M: "You're ruining the moment."

N: "Hyung?"

M: "Look, he's gone all shy and murdery."

N: "I'll take that as my cue to leave."

"Shy and murdery. I always wonder what to call that face. I'd been calling it the "run away now" face, but shy and murdery has a nice ring to it."

J: "I don't know if shy is the right word. Maybe "deadly calm" or just plain murdery."

"But that contrast between shy and murdery is perfect, because L.Joe is all contradictions."

M: "True. Do I get points for thinking of it?"

"Sure, you can have points. Why do you want points, though?"

R: "Bragging rights."

"You…compare points for bragging rights?"

R: "Yes?"

"Omo, you're all adorable. I love you."

J: "Hey look, L.Joe-hyung is making that face again."

"Shy and murdery is perfect."

C: "So, short and sexy and scary and shy and…murdery. Kinda breaks the pattern."

"Well, murdery is under scary."

C: "I guess. Speaking of, I'm thinking we should walk away now."

L: "You can't say she only sides with me now."

J: "I never said that, hyung. It was Niel-hyung."

"Nice shifting of blame, Changjo."

J: "But I really didn't say that!"

"Yeah, but now we're gonna have more blood to clean up."

L: "I'm not that violent. I can kill him without spilling blood."

J: "Maybe we should put murdery back in."

"I second that."

L: "I'm done with all of you."

 

 **The Hot Issue**  
C: "It's too hot."

"And whose fault is that?"

C: "The ac repairmen?"

"Are you that innocent and clueless or are you making an attempt at being humble?"

C: "What are you talking about?"

"Never mind."

~

J: "Hyung, when are they going to fix this?"

M: "I don't know. Manager-nim won't say anything, but I think he's mad they haven't fixed it already."

R: "I'm so hot."

"Everybody knows that."

R: "I know, everybody else is hot too."

"Ricky, are you…you totally missed it, didn't you?"

R: "Missed what?"

"Minsoo-oppa, you got it, right?"

M: "Sorry, what?"

"Never mind."

~

N: "Why are we practicing here? We should go somewhere else."

"Maybe you should go somewhere else."

N: "Manager-nim will just get mad. He's just as hot as the rest of us, though."

"I'm sure he'd be delighted to hear you say that, Niel."

N: "He's been complaining just as much as we have!"

"I didn't…sigh. Why are you all such idiots?"

N: "What did I do now?"

"It's really hot in here."

N: "Now you're complaining! You don't even have to be here!"

"I blame you."

N: "I didn't say you had to come today."

"So you really didn't catch that?"

N: "Catch what?"

"Never mind."

~

L: "Did Cap-hyung say when they're going to fix it?"

"Yeah, just as soon as we throw you out of the building."

L: "We should throw him out."

"He's okay, but I think you're more of a problem."

L: "I've barely complained."

"I heard you muttering just as much as everyone else."

L: "It's hot!"

"It's your own fault."

L: "I guess. Maybe they should throw me out of the building."

"…"

L: "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You actually got it. Someone actually got it. I'm so glad you're not an idiot."

L: "Thanks."

"Now go."

L: "Wait, you're actually going to throw me out?"

"It's too hot in here!"

L: "It's just as much your fault as mine!"

"Thanks, I always thought so too."

L: "Really?"

"Still nice to hear it from others, though. Hey, what are you doing?"

L: "We need to throw you out."

~

N: "This feels so nice. I'll always be grateful for ac from now on."

R: "Yeah. But how come Manager-nim let us go out?"

M: "It was Jihyun's idea. She's really good at persuading him."

C: "Not that I'm not grateful for ac too, but now we actually have to practice."

J: "We had to practice before, we just weren't."

R: "Maybe that's also why Manager-nim let us come here."

J: "You think?"

L: "At least we're not suffering anymore."

N: "Yeah. I was so hot."

"Don't be so down, Niel. You still are."

L: "Go away, we came here to be cool."

"Thanks again, L.Joe. Same to you."

N: "I can't tell if that was sarcasm or not."

"Really? If I so much as drop the word 'sexy' in passing, you all pounce on me. I would've thought at least you would eat it up. Please tell me you're just playing dumb."

M: "Are you…ohhhh."

C: "Wait, that's what you…ohhh."

L: "You're right. Idiots."

N: "Wait, you think I'm hot?"

J: "You think Niel-hyung is hot?"

R: "You think I'm hot?"

L: "You think any of them are hot?"

"I give up."

 

 **The Dating Confusion**  
L: "We never did get to go on that date."

"It's not like we could have anyway. Certainly not with Niel skulking around."

L: "I guess."

"Do you sound regretful?"

L: "I just wanted to see their faces."

"And what about the face of your manager?"

L: "You're right. It wouldn't have worked."

"You're scaring me."

L: "How?"

"You sounded like you really wanted to go on a date with me."

L: "And that's scary?"

"Yes!"

L: "Wow. I don't think I've ever seen you scared before. You don't look much different from normal."

"L.Joe."

L: "Yes?"

"Do you actually want to go on a date with me?"

L: "I think it would be nice."

"Nice? You think it would be nice…because…??"

L: "I haven't gone on a date in a long time. It's nice to walk around with a pretty girl."

"You had better not be teasing me right now, because I will beat you until you cry."

L: "That's what I get for calling you pretty?"

"Are you…you're being serious and you're also not being serious. Oh."

L: "What does "oh" mean?"

"You do want to go on a date with me, but only because it would be nice to go on a date."

L: "Well, yeah. We get along really well, and we've hung out so much together already. We'd have a great time."

"Unbelievable."

L: "Where are you going? Hey!"

"Even Niel knows better than to fake ask me out on a date. Are you really so clueless?"

L: "But, everybody else jokes about us dating."

"Yeah, and I shut them up."

L: "I don't get it. It was your idea in the first place."

"L.Joe! A girl doesn't want to hear that a guy wants to go on a date with her because he wants to go on a date! A girl wants to hear that a guy wants to go on a date with her, because he wants to go on a date WITH HER."

L: "What's the difference?"

"You want to go on a date, and I just happen to be around."

L: "It's not like that."

"Well, it doesn't matter, because I don't want to go on a date with you anyways."

L: "Why not?"

"Do you feel that way about me? And don't lie. Is there any romantic attachment, attraction or liking going on here?"

L: "Well, I think you're pretty."

"And?"

L: "And I feel comfortable around you. You make me smile and you're the only person I've ever met who had make me forget that I'm angry."

"And?"

L: "And you're one of my best friends, and I think we'd have a good time."

"So, that'd be a no, then."

L: "Why does there have to be romance right away?"

"There doesn't have to be romance, but there has to be something more that will lead to something longer term."

L: "You can't just go on a date with a nice guy?"

"Nope."

L: "Why not?"

"Because then I have feelings, but they don't go anywhere, they just wander around in my head and make me confused and hurt my heart. No thanks."

L: "I never knew a single date could be so complicated."

"That's because you're not a girl."

L: "Do all girls think like this?"

"Obviously not. I'm just different and don't plan on changing."

L: "Got it. I won't ask you out again."

"Thank you."

L: "I really wasn't expecting that type of reaction."

"Sweetheart, since when have you been able to predict anything about me?"

L: "True. Why is it that you can predict others, but we can't predict you?"

"I don't know. Why are you short and good at rapping and I'm short and suck at it?"

L: "Really?"

"I'm not a know-it-all, I'm a know-it-some, and I can't explain it. I can't even explain myself."

L: "That's helpful."

 

 **The Teach Acquisition ******  
R: "Noona!"

**"Hey, Ricky, are you the welcoming committee?"**

**R: "I guess. Why haven't you come to see us?"**

**"Busy. I've been trying to fit you into my schedule for weeks, but there's always something else that call precedence."**

**R: "Precedence?"**

**"First place for attention."**

**R: "Oh. Well, Changjo will be happy to see you."**

**"Why's that?"**

**R: "He thinks you'll complain about the choreography and that means he can play teacher."**

**"What if I just want you to teach me?"**

**R: "No, Changjo really wants to and anyway, do you need him to?"**

**"No. I learned it weeks ago. He can give me a refresher course if he wants to, though. A happy Changjo always makes my life easier."**

**R: "Like a happy L.Joe-hyung?"**

**"Happy L.Joe makes your life easier. I don't really care."**

**N: "Do too. You complain when he's not happy."**

**"Hey, Niel. Well, so do you."**

**N: "I'm not arguing."**

**"That's a first."**

**R: "He never didn't argue?"**

**N: "That makes no sense, Ricky."**

**R: "Makes more sense than you skipping out on lessons to come see Noona."**

**N: "Lesson ended. And what are you doing here, then?"**

**R: "I didn't have anything to do."**

**N: "Well, yeah."**

**RN: "Ow!"**

**"I'll hit you again if you don't stop being idiots. Besides, I'm here mostly to schedule actual stuff with the big people. Move."**

**N: "I'll walk with you."**

**R: "I'll walk with you, too."**

**N: "Go away, Ricky, you had your turn."**

**"Neither of you are earning points by arguing senseless things."**

**C: "Hey, you didn't tell me she was here!"**

**"Hey, Chunji. You don't have anything to do either?"**

**C: "Not right now."**

**N: "You're supposed to be with the vocal coach."**

**C: "No, it's your turn."**

**N: "I finished my turn."**

**C: "Well, then, we're both finished."**

**"That's nice. You wanna give me a hug, or what?"**

**R: "Don't hug her so hard, hyung!"**

**"I'm not made of glass, Ricky."**

**R: "You're not made of stone, either."**

**N: "Hey, that wasn't a bad answer. Ow, what was that for?"**

**"Nothing really. There's the dancing kid himself."**

**J: "Isn't the choreo wicked?"**

**"Don't do that."**

**J: "How long did it take you to learn it?"**

**"A couple weeks. I was working on two solo projects at the time."**

**J: "Hand it over."**

**R: "Man…"**

**"What, you bet on how long it'd take me to learn the choreo?"**

**R: "I thought you'd learn it in a week."**

**J: "I knew it would take longer 'cause you always have other stuff going on."**

**N: "I thought you would've forgotten it by now."**

**C: "How long ago did you learn it?"**

**"Couple of months? And yeah, I could probably use a refresher."**

**J: "I call it!"**

**R: "Told you."**

**C: "Ricky, he always does that."**

**"But usually I say no."**

**J: "Wait, so you're saying yes?"**

**C: "Oh great."**

****The Soju Corruption**  
J- I can't believe you actually agreed to this. Are you supposed to protest against this sort of thing?**

**"What, you think I never drink?"**

**J- I never really thought about it.**

**L- She's gotta have some way to get through putting up with you.**

**C- Or you.**

**N- Or you.**

**M- Or any of you. You're such kids.**

**L- You're not a whole lot better.**

**"I get through putting up with you by hitting you."**

**N- There is that. I guess we've corrupted you.**

**"Don't flatter yourself, I was already corrupted."**

**R- Really? Who corrupted you?"**

**L- Ricky, do you realize what you just said?**

**R- Um…**

**"Just let it go. And it was my brothers, actually."**

**M- Your brothers corrupted you? I thought they were super overprotective.**

**"They said if anyone was going to teach me how to drink, they would. Besides, we all started young. Dad taught us."**

**C- Your dad? How young?**

**"Like nine? We all started with wine and as we grew up, branched out. I like a light ale these days."**

**C- That's, um, interesting.**

**L- Really? I though you'd go more hardcore.**

**"What, you mean soju? I can do soju."**

**R- You can?**

**J- You can? But you're such a lightweight.**

**"You mean I don't weigh much. But I don't get drunk easily."**

**J- How much soju can you drink?**

**"A bottle and a half? I don't drink it much. Hey, we're here."**

**M- Will you be drinking soju tonight?**

**"I don't think so."**

**L- So much for hardcore.**

**"Are you hardcore?"**

**L- I'm always hardcore. I'm the bad boy, remember?**

**"Only every time I see you."**

**N- Do you wish he wasn't a bad boy? Would you finally fall in love with him then?**

**"What? He can be whoever he wants to be and for the last time, we're not getting together, Niel.**

**J- They'd fight too much, hyung.**

**M- I think Jihyun would win most of the time.**

**R- Against L.Joe-hyung? I know she's good, but…**

**"Guys! We're not falling in love! And on that note, I think I could go for some soju."**

**L- Yes!**

**N- But what if you get drunk and end up confessing?**

**"That you're secretly my favorite?**

**N- No, that you--, wait, I'm secretly your favorite?**

**J- No, that's me.**

**"It's true. If was going to have a back-up favorite, it'd probably be him.**

**N- Back-up is not the same as secret.**

**L- Whatever, you wouldn't be either.**

**N- You just love that you're her favorite, don't you?**

**L- Yep.**

**"Soju and cranberry juice, please!**

**M- What's with the juice?**

**"Well, usually I don't drink it plain. I like it with mango or peach juice too."**

**M- You put juice in your soju?**

**L- You mean you put soju in your juice. So not hardcore.**

**"It's good! Plus, people don't suspect juice."**

**C- Wait, have you ever put alcohol in the juice you bring with you?**

**"…yes?"**

**L- You drank while you were working?**

**"It wasn't a lot and only when it's been a bad day."**

**M- You do that often?**

**N- Only when she works with trying people. Aka, you people.**

**J- You can be trying too, hyung.**

**N- I know. But Jihyun-noona loves me.**

**J- She loves me too. She let me teach her the dance this time.**

**M- You didn't happen to have alcohol in your juice that day, did you?**

**"…"**

**R- Wow, noona is so corrupted.**

**C- Ricky.**

**L- Just no.**

**N- Don't say that again.**

**J- You're the one who's corrupted.**

**"I need a drink."**

**Author's Note:**

> And that's all, folks! It's my own take on a group chat - a group chat including you! Not that you are necessarily as sarcastic as I am, but, you know. It's fun. It's crazy. Hopefully somebody reads this and laughs.


End file.
